For a multitude of reasons, I have spent the last several years sitting
on my couch and watching TV while my life has been on hold. Now that
many of those holds have finally released me, it's time to make some
very big changes.
In December of 2007, I was diagnosed with MS (Multiple Sclerosis), and
after a 3 year battle, I was declared permanently disabled and am now
on SSDI. The restrictions put on me through the process of applying for
and then fighting for my SSDI left me very unfulfilled and left my life
very stagnant. I felt I was sitting still, blocked from the path
forward, yet clinging for dear life to the present for fear of falling
backwards. Through a lot of therapy (4 years this month,
whoo-hoo!) I have let go of (most) of my anger, and am in the process
of learning that I am good enough just the way I am, and that I am
kick-ass awesome.
But after being still for so long, I have realized that I don't really
know myself anymore. I'm not sure who I am, who I want to be, or
what I want from life.
I know I want to do some kind of part time work, but what? I know I
want to do some kind of volunteer work, but where? I know I want an
exciting life again, one that I look forward to each day when I wake
up, full of happiness, peace, amazement, fun, and love, but how? Oh
yeah, and in between all that, I could really stand to lose about 180
lbs.
My life is like a giant word jumble right now, all crazy and mixed up
and hard to understand. But just like I know there are real words
hidden in those random letters waiting for me to find them, I know there
is a real life hidden in all this chaos waiting for me to live it. I
just have to find it.
But in order to find that life, I first have to Get Up Off The Couch...
No comments:
Post a Comment